Every year in December, I take time to reflect on the past year. I look through journal entries and notes, scroll through past social media posts, and think about significant experiences that happened. This practice helps me to step back and take a deeper look, recognize what I learned, and embrace the coming new year. Here are some of my reflections as I look back on 2020. 

1. What was the best thing that happened this year?

Absolutely the best thing that happened this year was that we adopted our son Austin. He has been a gift to our family since we began fostering in 2019, and we finalized his adoption in summer of 2020. 

2. What was the most challenging thing that happened?

What WASN'T challenging this year? This year was marked by COVID-19, and the endless ways it disrupted every part of life. I suppose the most challenging thing for me personally was discerning how to adjust to so many changes, and how to help our kids through those adjustments at the same time. Navigating school closures, not gathering with anyone in person, finding new ways to connect with community, etc. was incredibly difficult.

3. What was an unexpected joy?

I found so much life and joy within a few relationships with family and friends. Since relationships were distilled in this season, I feel like I had to work harder to lean into my tribe of people, and in turn, I appreciated these connections so much more. Our family of 6 grew in intimacy, with date nights with my husband, family games and hikes, and parent-kid one-on-one excursions. We gathered with extended family for regular Zoom hang outs. Friendships were nurtured through texts and phone calls. This year forced a lot of stripping away and pruning, which ultimately resulted in deeper, more powerful relationships. 
​
4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

Grief. In the spring of 2020, I began to feel grief in different ways and for different reasons. I believe it was catalyzed by the effects of the pandemic, but I also felt layers of grief related to the deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd. Grief because of loss and isolation. Grief because of human evil. Grief because of fractures in our world. I did not expect grief, but it came. 

5. Pick three words to describe 2020.

Loss. Survival. Liberation.

6. What were the best books you read this year?

The Very Good Gospel: How Everything Wrong Can Be Made Right by Lisa Sharon Harper

Black Theology and Black Power by James Cone

Theology of the Womb by Christy Angelle Bauman

7. What did you do in 2020 that you've never done before?

I got my real estate license, and joined an incredible team of real estate professionals. I love the people I work with, and the many opportunities I have to steward resources to bless our community in Hawaii. Another first was Steve launching his own mortgage company, Ohana Mortgage Solutions.

8. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will you make more for 2021? 

I cannot recall if I made any 2020 resolutions, so that says something. As I look ahead to this year, I'm committing to these things:

• Walk into liberation. I am disentangling from patriarchy and white supremacy and colonization. Easy and simple, right? I feel so grateful to have resources to do that - books, friends and mentors travelling the same path, my spiritual director and formation coach, etc. I already feel so much freer than I did one year ago, but know that there's way further to go.
• Cultivate intimacy with my husband and kids. This means weekly date nights with Steve. And one-on-one times with each kid. Four kids is a lot, y'all. So it takes intentionality to spend time with each of them. But every time I do, it really does grow our vital connections, and develop trust and communication.

9. For what are you most grateful?

I'm grateful that we have a good God. I'm grateful that God pours out joy and beauty in the midst of pain and sorrow. 

10. How did you change this year?

I feel more comfortable and alive in my unique, female, Asian, almost 40 year old self.

11. What moments were most memorable?

• Engaging in a prayerful, powerful Black Lives Matter protest.
• Austin's adoption court hearing via Zoom.
• When I poured out all my angsty questions and thoughts, and my spiritual director responded, "Oh yes, that's midlife." And then she went on to calmly explain and interpret everything.
• Celebrating the election of Kamala Harris as the United States' first female, Black, and Asian American Vice President.
• A sacred, transformative experience with Mother God. 

12. What were your greatest discoveries?

• Instacart grocery delivery
• Schitt's Creek
• Reclaiming My Theology podcast
• Liquid eyeliner
• Bookshop - shop books online, and support local bookstores (divest from Amazon!)

13. What are you looking forward to this coming year?

Healthier leadership in the United States. Hopefully an eradication to COVID-19. Turning 40 in January!

14. What was the most significant thing you learned this year?

I learned how desperate I am to be part of creating shalom and wholeness in the world.

What are your reflections on the past year? What are your hopes for this coming year? Feel free to use the above questions as a way to do your own reflection. 

P.S. My blog posts are rare. Older posts are archived on The Larissa Monologues. If you are on Instagram, I'd love to connect there! @larissalmarks

This morning I rolled out of bed, put on clean-ish clothes, and went through my morning ritual of making my pour-over coffee. I fed my almost-2-year-old daughter her breakfast, checked email, and as an afterthought, turned my awareness to God. It was like a silent, "Hey there, God." An acknowledgement of his presence with me, a welcoming him into the ordinary-ness of my day.

On mornings like this, when life seems so normal and routine, I am thankful that God is present in the ordinary. I am thankful that God isn't only in the flashy and extraordinary. Because if that were true, my mostly ordinary life would seem to be missing the mark. So I am grateful. But I also recognize that I want more of this. I want to know and encounter more of God in my actual life. So I invite God in. I ask him to help me see him and hear him in the ordinary.

After I pray this, my daughter asks for a snack. So we toast some bread, and take our morning snack outside on the porch. We sit together for a while, my daughter is thrilled by the passing airplanes and garbage trucks. Then she turns to me, "Mama, kiss?" She plants a sloppy toddler kiss on my face. And in this moment, I sense God delighting in the moment with us.

I wonder how our lives would change if we became more aware of God's presence? How might we react to the interruptions? How would we treat the people we unexpectedly encounter? How would we experience our errands and household chores?

I am learning how to welcome God into my ordinary. I invite you to do the same.

ACTION & PRACTICE

Take a moment to simply be with God. Turn your awareness to his presence with you. Invite him to reveal himself right now. Ask him to help you see and hear him in the ordinary today.

How aware of God are you in your daily life? How do you encounter God in the ordinary? Please share in the comments.

As we near the end of 2016, many of us are looking ahead to the new year. You may be planning, setting goals, or considering your New Year's Resolutions. As you think about the upcoming year, I encourage you to welcome God into that process. Consider what he is inviting you into for this upcoming year. How are you making space for your spiritual growth? What resources or rhythms do you need in order thrive with God? Take some time to listen to God and your soul as you look ahead to 2017. 

Here are 10 resources that can help you launch into a great new year and thrive with God.

1. The Wheel of Life.

The Wheel of Life is a tool that helps you reflect on your current life, and identify changes you want to make in order to thrive. Click here for a tutorial and free Wheel of Life worksheet packet.

2. Read a book that will ignite your spiritual growth.

A great book has the power to influence our spiritual trajectory, and lead us into new insights and encounters with God. Here is a list of 10 Great Books to Ignite Your Spiritual Growth - I highly recommend every one of these books.

3. Go on a spiritual retreat.

Taking an extended time of silence and solitude with God can be an incredible place of spiritual nourishment and renewal. Here is a simple step-by-step Guide to Taking a Spiritual Retreat. Spiritual retreats take a bit of planning, but they are totally worth the investment of time and energy. I try to take 1 or 2 spiritual retreats every year, and they have become foundational in my relationship with God.

4. Join the Spiritual Journeyers Facebook Group. 

I host and lead this group, and it is a great place to receive guidance and connection for your faith journey. People can freely participate in the group discussions, and we often share our struggles, breakthroughs, and prayer requests with each other. Click here to join the Spiritual Journeyers FB group.

5. Meet with a spiritual director.

My monthly conversations with a spiritual director are a vital place for my own spiritual growth. She and I pray together, talk about what God is doing in my life, and discern together how to respond to God. If you are looking for a spiritual director, I'd love to meet with you. You can read about the spiritual direction services I offer here. I currently have the availablity for a handful of new clients. 

6. Create a new Rhythm For Life. 

A rhythm for life is a simple statement of personal habits that you choose to practice to intentionally make space for God's presence and voice. The new year is a great time to reassess your current spiritual rhythms. Ask God to give you a few practices and habits to make space for him.

7. Join the Journeyers Collective.

The Collective is my monthly membership program that invites you into regular spiritual direction with me in a group setting, a private Facebook group, and a members-only library of resources for your spiritual growth. Membership costs $18/mo or $118/yr. You can find out more about the Journeyers Collective here.

8. Put the essential things first.

You alone have the power to choose how you spend your life. Make sure you are doing what is essential to who God has called you to be. As you think about your typical day or week, how can you block out the time and space for what is most important? For more on this, read Why You Need to Master the Art of Saying No to the Nonessentials.

9. Intentionally make time to do life-giving things.

What activities fuel your joy, creativity, and life? Make a list of those things. We often don't give ourselves permission to do these things. For the sake of your soul, create time and space this year to do the things that give you life. Some life-giving things for me are writing, date nights with my husband, weekly exercise, and reading good books. What's on your list? 

10. Subscribe to my Notes email newsletter.

I send out a email with practical tools and guidance for your spiritual journey. Think of it as your spiritual director popping into your inbox to say hi and give you permission for your soul to breathe. Want to receive these emails from me? Sign up here.

What action steps are you taking as you plan and vision for 2017? What do you need to help you thrive with God this coming year? Please share in the comments.